Loose ends to tie up

Well, now that I'm over 30 I feel that keeping myself in shape doesn't come as easy. I've been slacking needless to say. About 2 months ago I hid my scale because I thought it might help. I used to get on it daily thinking I'd loose something...anything. It became discouraging and I gained a few...wallowing in my sorrows I guess. I do feel I have the food thing somewhat under control. (Although, my non-fat milky way mochas need to be cut down to once a week...for my calories and my wallet. Oh, but they are so good!) I don't eat late at night and I do give myself a small treat after dinner....if I don't I tend to give myself bigger treats (bad ones) after a few days without. I know there is more will power in there somewhere. I do a fairly good job with my calorie in-take during the day. So, the only thing missing is an exercise plan! I have one now! I put a spreadsheet together for me to follow. Days of the week to use the treadmill, do floor exercises, and cardio. I hope it works and I can stick to it. I've been meaning to do it for a while, just to feel better about myself and maybe loose a few "loose ends".

Wish me luck and hold me to it!

-Debbie

Possiblities are endless

Here I sit late at night thinking...that could be a good and bad thing. I'm thinking of my trip to VA. What will it be like? I know I was just there in April of this year, but I feel like a different person. Now, I'm officially divorced. Hmm...the possiblities are endless when that is the case. Unlike my ex, I have held true to my vows to the end. I've haven't been in a relationship other then my ex since 1999 when we started dating. It's scary to think about it, however, at the same time it is thrilling! The question I have for myself, "Am I ready?" Ready for a relationship or even just a fling...I don't know. It has been heavy on my heart and I guess I'm just lonely today. The one thing I miss is being able to share those great moments in my life with someone special. Yeah, I know I can share them with my children, but it is just different with another adult that you care about. There is just something about companionship. I do have to say, I won't settle. I'm not going to be that way and I'm going to hold out for someone special who honors me and my children. I guess I look back at my life that I have lived and I see my life, as many have pointed out--yes I see it now, as living it for someone else. There were glimmers of me in there, but most of it was not lived for me. I gave up a lot and sat in the background.

You'll be happy for me, I've made it to church the last three weeks! I've enjoyed every moment and have been hanging on every word of our Pastor's sermons (http://www.silverdalebaptist.com/). The sermons are just what I need. They put my life in perspective AND I can't beleive how in some ways I'm on the right path. It is a great feeling to hear the sermons and think...oh, I do that. Other ways, I know that I need to give myself up to God and let Him work on me. I know I'm not perfect. I think my next step is to do some volunteer work. I've signed up for the Alzheimer's walk in Silverdale on September 20th--you can sponsor me at 2008 Olympic Peninsula Alzheimer's Walk. I need to get involved in other things that are selfless and I think volunteering is a great place to start.

Well, I've talked long enough. I think after my trip to VA I'll be looking for a way to volunteer. Hold me to it!

-Debbie

Busy, but fun weekend

There is something to be said that about having great friends. I had a GREAT weekend! Friends of mine came over Saturday afternoon to scrapbook. It is a group from work that we have been getting together each month. This time I invited my neighbor, Cari, too Cari is an easy person to get along with...and a great friend too! Well, my ex is out to sea so the kids were with me. Kendra loves to scrapbook, but Cameron not so much. So, he hung around outside with friends, but also wanted to be inside with us. Cari's daughter hung around inside too. Then, one of my friends from work that was scrapbooking had to go get her kids...I told her to come back so the kids could all hang out. And then THEY had a fun time too! Everyone got there around 4pm, but didn't leave til almost 11:30! What a great night! We laughed and were silly. :)

Then, on Sunday, a friend of mine from work reminded me that at the waterfront park in Silverdale they were having Hydroplane boat races. I've never seen these and I knew Cameron would love them (Kendra, not so interested). So, Cameron and I headed down to the waterfront park....awesome! They were so cool and went so fast! The simplest thing that thrilled me was the fact that they put them in and out of the water by a CRANE!

Now here I am sitting up late reminicing. Tomorrow I send my daughter for the first time by herself on a plane. I'm trying not to let myself worry...I have nothing to worry about, but there could be. I'm just not going to worry. She is going to spend the next 3 weeks visiting my mom and stepdad (amoung others) in Virginia. Then, at the end of August, Cameron and I head to VA ourselves to spend a little time and we head back before the start of school. :)

Have a great week,

Debbie

I know, it's been a while

So, I have found my voice again. Yeah, it's been a while and a lot has happened...much I won't get into as it doesn't matter any longer. I've just been so wrapped up in my life I've forgotten to write. In my last entry not everthing came about, but I'm still working on my life changes. I AM in a very happy place these days.

First off, I'm officially divorced! Happened on May 6, 2008 and it is an anniversary that I'm proud of as it was a decision I made and know it was the right one. I'm really enjoying being on my own and not leaning on someone or having to "run it by" them. Well, among all the other OBVIOUS things (duh!) I love it. I bought new living room furniture on the spot one weekend...no questions to anyone! It was great! Just exactly what I wanted. :) Dont get me wrong, i'm not ruling out getting into another relationship, just not in the cards right now for me. I think I'll know when it's right. If I push anything or jump in, it wouldn't be something true and right. Also, I'm not afraid to be alone. :)

Most recently I've had happier changes...i was promoted at the agency I work for. I'm so excited! I do, however, still have to do my old job until they hire someone, but it is worth it. The people that I'm working with are great and so understanding. The ones I'm leaving are too...so it was a hard decision, but I'll have one focus in this job which is great!

Next, and I haven't started yet, but I signed up for a NY Institite of Photography course! I'm even more thrilled about this then the promotion. I'm so ready to start going on learning more about photography and the business of it. As many of you know me, I LOVE to take photos. I get frustrated as I can't get the camera to do what I want sometimes. I intend to learn more and you never know...I could make it big and you can then say you knew me when. ha,ha!

The kids are doing well and adjusting to life with two homes. When their Dad isn't out to sea they go every Wednesday and then ever other Wednesday to Sunday afternoon. It is really nice for me to have my time to myself to just do what I want and be ME...not Mom for a little while. Although, it is hard to remember they aren't with me and I can't wait to see them when they return! I have been going out to dinners with friends. Some of us have even started once a month having a scrapbooking night! I really am loving my friends around here...they are so good to me!

Well, I can't think of anything else right now (that was plenty). I'm sure there will be more another day.

All my best,
Debbie